Episode 223 - Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman
- dee3198
- 7 days ago
- 48 min read
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I had the opportunity to sit down with Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman to talk about something that so many of us are navigating: the intersection of marriage and personal ambition.
What happens when you're a go-getter, you're building something big—and you also want to be the best wife and mom you can be? Do those things clash... or can they actually strengthen one another?
In this honest and insightful conversation, Bat-Chen shares:
Her personal story of going from resentful and overwhelmed to calm and aligned
What happened when she finally told her husband what she really needed
The expectations you might not even know you have about how marriage "has to" be--and what to do about them
Her beautiful framework, the CALM Method, for creating flow in your marriage and life:
C: Connect to yourself
A: Ask for abundance
L: Listen for the answer
M: Master a higher level of consciousness
We also talk about how to hear your true wants vs. the ones that have been sold to you by social media, mentors, or family expectations.
💫 Resources Mentioned:
💻 Bat-Chen’s free guide: connectedforreal.com/guide
🌐 Work with Bat-Chen 1:1: connectedforreal.com
📱Follow her on Instagram: @connectedforreal
🎧 The episode with her father that we discussed: Communication & G-d
Transcript
0:00
Hey, my friends.
OK, quick update before we jump into this amazing episode with Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman.
She's going to introduce herself and we're going to get all into women and marriage entrepreneurship, which I think will be very interesting regardless of whether you are personally an entrepreneur, like anything to do with your own business or your own projects and how that can sometimes come into conflict or enhance the marriage relationship.
0:23
But before we got there, I just wanted to give you a heads up that I am going to be going into some kind of sabbatical.
I haven't really decided if it's a full year yet.
I don't think I'm going to decide until I'm in it.
And I had this episode planned for a little bit later, and I'm sending it out now because I wanted to make sure you got it before I sign off.
0:43
I'll be sending out one more episode after this just to give you a little bit of an idea about what that sabbatical about, what my thinking about it was, and anything that I learned in this process that might be helpful for some of you in terms of deciding big decisions about how you're spending your time and aligning your time with your priorities and dealing with when life doesn't go exactly as planned.
1:06
So there's your teaser for the next episode.
In the meantime, enjoy this delightful conversation with Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman.
Welcome to How to Glow, where we get real about building the marriage of your dreams.
I'm certified Coach Kayla Levin and I help married Jewish women go from surviving and overwhelmed to thriving and connected through practical tips, real life inspiration, and more than a little self-awareness along the way.
1:33
I think what we're going to discuss is this whole massive of women in business, especially if one of them is like entrepreneurial.
But you know what?
Why don't we just have you introduce yourself to the audience?
OK.
Well, this is an exciting move.
OK.
1:52
I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman.
I'm a marriage coach for women in business.
And my specialty is that intersection where marriage and business collide.
And I came to it because I had a business and I was married and I was trying to figure it all out.
2:13
And that's how it started, was I was feeling very resentful and very annoyed.
And my husband wasn't on board.
And he was, you know, judgy and difficult.
You were like in digital design.
Right.
I was a graphic designer.
I was a graphic designer for 15 years.
2:29
I went to Pratt Institute and I worked on 5th Ave. and then when we made LEII worked for like the top graphic designer in Israel.
And then I went on my own.
I was working in Tel Aviv with like great companies and it was just so fun to grow my business.
2:45
And also I was doing a lot of networking and, you know, conferences and things because I wanted to, you know, be in the rooms with the right people.
And I always felt this thing that when I come home, I have to lower the volume on myself because it's just not fair that I am going out there being so successful, being so alive.
3:07
And then I have to come home and like, sort of like shrink myself down and walk in almost like it's fine, you know, like a humbling experience.
Like we're all equal.
You're a loser, I'm a loser.
It's all fine.
3:23
Like, and thank God my husband's not a loser.
But like, you know, he, he didn't have a successful thing going.
Like he's still trying to figure it out or he's just, you know, like doing his like, you know, surviving jobs.
Like it's just wasn't the same.
3:39
And it was really, it was killing me on the inside.
And then one day at a conference, I realized when somebody said, like, oh, all these speakers, they're all talking about like going big and big dreams.
3:54
And I just want to, you know, make a little bit more money.
Like I just want to not have to like go from one thing to the other.
I just want to like, have enough.
And I'm sitting there going, why?
You know, like, why are you limiting yourself?
And, and she said, because I'm a mother and I'm a wife and I have priorities.
4:14
And I thought, oh, so it's a choice, you know, and, and I put this out there to my table because you know, how like in these conferences, they have tables and stuff.
And so it was really interesting to hear how everybody around the table was saying, yes, we have to choose.
4:35
I can't be 1 fully myself in my business.
Everybody appreciates me.
I am, you know, king the world.
And then I come to the house and I'm feeling criticized and there's negativity and why didn't I do the dishes and what's going on and like, what did you do all day?
4:52
You know, like these questions that make us feel really, really judged.
And then and what you want me to go big on something that I know is going to break my marriage.
And I really, it really hit me.
5:08
It hit me so hard.
Number one, it hit me because I, my priority in my entire life is my marriage in my, in my family.
I come from a family of like, you know, long line of rabbinical rabbis, you know, rabbinical families on my father's side from Tunis and they're like very, very connected to God, very simple people like super, super down to earth.
5:34
And also that I.
Was going to tell you as I listened to your interview with him.
With my father.
Oh my gosh, he's so special.
He's.
So 5 fathers.
I just it was I loved it.
I loved it.
So I'm going to link it and show not so we're going to hear because that I just I mean, I listened to a bunch of yours and your your podcast is wonderful and inspiring.
5:55
And this one though, I was just like, I just want everyone to hear.
It's just real.
You're saying has has Emunah and just the way he like it's so clear from the way he speaks.
He just breathes it like this is the only reality.
He doesn't have to like remind himself.
It's just that's it.
6:12
It's a.
Sham.
Yeah, it was.
I want to give you some background like behind the scenes stuff on that episode.
It was such a special episode because it was after he had a stroke and he, you know, like thank God they saved his life.
6:29
My miracle, miracle miracles, like all the things were miracles and they were in America and I was here and I was pregnant and I couldn't fly there and they couldn't fly here because you're not to fly after a stroke.
And like there was this like gap of space that I was just feeling so like.
6:46
And and then when Des is my father.
Do you want to be a guest on my podcast?
Because I, you know, when you're away, like it happened to be that like I spoke to my mother very often on the phone, but not to my father.
And I felt I really missed him.
7:02
So I had this idea to have him on my podcast as a guest so that I can have a whole conversation with him and, and it was really sweet.
It was really sweet.
Like if you really look carefully, like thank God now he's gotten so much better 'cause it, I think that episode is like a year old, but he wasn't moving his left arm and he was speaking like a little bit different than usual.
7:27
Like he was louder and more like faster.
So it definitely had like still some of the effects of the stroke.
But I like so grateful I got that opportunity because it really was an amazing, amazing opportunity.
Yeah, it was really beautiful.
7:42
Anyway, so you were saying you come from this so obviously your priorities.
It's not like you have to be convinced that family matters.
No, no, I like, this is my life.
I am, you know, Rabbi's daughter, Rabbi's wife, like, you know, everybody and everything knows that I am all about my marriage, my children, my home, bringing God, God's presence home.
8:06
Like this is my life.
And I was in business because I prioritized being the breadwinner.
You know, like, when I was going out on dates, people asked me, what are you looking for?
And I said, I'm looking for a rabbi.
8:23
And they would just sort of have this, like, pause and look at me funny and say, you know, you don't marry a profession, you marry a person.
And I said, yeah, but if you know anything about my life, I don't think I can handle living with someone who isn't a walking, talking Torah.
8:44
You know, I, I live.
This is, this is my reality.
This is the air I breathe.
So it's very difficult for me to, you know, to be like, OK, I'll just marry some guy who like, you know, sometimes like one of his things is learning or, you know, some of his life is about, you know, it's like, I needed somebody who was like all there and I knew, I knew about myself, about what I needed.
9:10
And it's very hard to look at an 18 year old or a 19 year old and like take her seriously when she tells you she knows what she needs.
But I, I'm really proud of myself for getting really in touch with what I want and what I need and, and saying it and you know, this is this, I've been this way forever.
9:29
You know, like I'm, I've always been like one time somebody asked me when I was 25, she asked me how old I am and I said 87.
And she just looked at me and started laughing.
She's like, that is so true.
That is so true.
Anyway, so this is my priority.
9:49
This is my entire life.
The reason why I'm in business is to support my husband so that he could be the best that he can be at what he's doing, which is really working.
And thank God, you know, I was calling him a loser before.
I just like as as a joke because he does not care about money.
His entire being does not comprehend why he should use his skills for money.
10:08
Like I just want to be, you know, I just want to teach.
I just want to give.
I just want to be.
I don't need to make money out of it.
And he's so sweet and he has so much that he can monetize, but he just doesn't because he wants to serve and show up the way he is.
10:27
And I love that.
I'm cool with that.
I'm so supportive by the way.
Like, for years, I was trying to push him to be something else and change him and help him and shove him and like, you know, sort of get him to.
And it was close to that time that the conference happened when I came home.
10:47
And I said to my husband, like, there's something that has to change.
I'm feeling resentful.
You know, all these women are saying their priority is the home and the family, and that's why they're holding themselves back.
And I realized as much as I'm pushing and being more advanced than most of my friends, like I always am very like, go, go, go, let's do this, you know, big dreams.
11:06
But like, I feel like I'm being held back and I'm blaming you, you know?
And thank God he was brushing his teeth, so he didn't respond.
But I'm like, it's your fault.
Husbands that they're like I had no idea I assume anything wrong.
11:23
Exactly, like I, I tell me more like he was so sweet about his non reactivity.
And thank God, I think, you know, it was a real gift that he was brushing his teeth that time.
Anyway, I'm sitting there screaming at him, yelling at him, telling him that it's his fault, that he's the one who is, you know, going to be jealous if I make more money.
11:45
And he is going to feel like everything's falling on him.
And he is already resentful enough that I am not, you know, doing everything and anything and, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he's like, what are you talking about?
And I said, you know, if you would just get your act together and start a podcast and actually get people to hear what you have to say and do a YouTube channel where people can ask you, you know, questions and you can answer their questions and blah, blah, blah.
12:14
And, and I like, you're a genius.
Why is this like falling on me?
And after I ranted and went on and on and on for all the things, my husband just turned around and was like, I don't understand, what do you want?
You know, like, I'm not going to be jealous if you make more money.
12:31
If anything, I'm going to be very happy because your money is my money and that means I get free money.
Like why?
Why would I be?
Jealous.
What?
Why would I be upset, right?
It's amazing.
Yeah, Why would I be upset?
And I'm like, what do you mean you're supposed to be upset?
12:48
This is something that everybody talks about.
It's like you can't make more money than your husband because your husband is going to be jealous.
Your husband is going to be upset.
You're going to step on his toes.
You have to walk on egg shells.
Like these are Givens.
You know, these are facts.
And he's like, exactly.
And I realized how many beliefs I was carrying about this and how much garbage was being fed to me from the outside world that I didn't even have to believe or didn't have to buy.
13:16
But for some reason it was affecting me and.
You had such a well developed story of what was going on.
Oh yeah.
Oh.
Running through your hat, it was like a whole reality that you had built around this frustrating situation in this hence dynamic and all of this.
13:33
And it's just it's I'm so glad you're illustrating this because we've all had that experience, but we're also all having that experience right now.
We don't you realize it yet, like there's all there's something in our life right now where we have made-up our mind that it's a certain way and we.
Haven't.
13:49
Checked it yet?
Right, exactly.
And the truth is that like in the past, anytime I would try to Fact Check, it just didn't work for me because my, I'm an artist, my husband's a scientist.
Like that's how I think, think of it.
14:06
You know, my brain is like that, like cluttered, tons of colors, tons of things, everything all the time going on like the, you know, the, the very creative brain.
And my husband's very like very straight, very meticulous, very see through, very like, you know, he's just a walking, talking computer type thing.
14:23
Like he can calculate in his head.
He can tell you things like he can write Hebrew backwards, super structured.
I even when I was when you know, when I went out with a guy who suggested his roommate, right.
So this is my husband.
14:39
So the guy I went out with who suggested my husband suggested my husband to to my mother.
He called her up and said, hi, I went out with your daughter and she didn't like me.
And I was like, I did not not like you.
I just didn't think you were for me.
Anyway, he was a very sweet guy.
14:55
He's not for me.
So anyway, after he got over the fact that I'm not going to marry him, he suggested his roommate and my mother said oh, OK, give me information.
It turns out my brother went to the same yeshiva.
So we call up my brother and yeshiva were like, do you know this guy?
15:13
And the way my brother described him as he's a walking, talking computer, like you can go to him and he'll give you the source, He'll tell you where it's written.
He'll tell you what you know.
He'll just he's, he's like that very, very amazing like that.
So you know it's.
15:30
Hard to do Fact Check you were saying like in the past.
Because anything he would say or do, I would read into and he's like, why are you thinking worst case scenario when the only thing I said was why is this on the table?
He's like, well, because you're asking why is this on the table?
15:47
Because it's not supposed to be on the table and you're blaming me for putting it on the table.
Everyone looks like their, their neurons are firing.
Because one of the main tools that I teach, I just taught in a recent podcast, again, so many times is women read between the lines, Men read on the lines.
16:03
So the number one thing to do when you're feeling hurt or offended is to just write down the actual words that came out of his mouth.
And that's amazing.
It's exactly what you're saying, right?
Yes.
So anytime I would try to Fact Check, my brain would go into override on filling in the gaps.
16:21
And then the facts were muddied by the story and then it would get even worse.
Because you see, I just proved that my thing is right.
Like you are upset.
And he's like, I'm not upset.
I never said I was upset.
Look, take my pulse.
Am I upset?
Like, what does your pulse have to do with your upsetness?
16:38
And he's like, if I was upset, my pulse would be like, you know, I'm like, he's thinking so straight and so normal.
And I'm thinking so like creatively fill in the blank antennas like all the things.
Yeah.
And we're also looking for it's confirmation bias.
Like you already have a story, so you're only really noticing the things that make your story right.
16:57
You're not going to notice the things that contradicts it, really.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Interesting.
So how did you?
Anyway, thank God that rant and that explosion led to a really good conversation.
Because, you know, the truth is that we're both very good people, and we have good character traits, you know?
17:20
So like, at the end of the day, after I lose myself or after he loses himself, we can sit down and be like, OK, you know, deep breaths, what do we need right now?
You know, so he's like, what do you actually need for you to make more money?
And I said, I need more help.
17:36
I can't be dealing with food.
I can't shop, I can't cook.
I can't think.
I just want somebody else to take over food.
And he was like, OK, I'll do it then.
And I thought, what, it's that easy?
Like I was so afraid to say, you know how many years I was carrying this burden of being a failure at food.
18:00
I would burn the food.
I wouldn't have the food ready on time.
I wouldn't plan well.
I would have too little, too much.
I would mess it up.
I would spice it wrong.
Like I am an artist, so I don't want to follow instructions.
I don't want to follow the list.
18:15
I just want to do it the way I feel like it.
So sometimes it feels like, yeah, let's like get creative.
And sometimes it feels like I don't feel like doing this, so I don't want to.
And then you, you mess it up because you don't feel like it, right?
So it's like it wasn't working for a family to have a mother that wasn't organized in the food department.
18:33
And I was really beating myself up like a lot.
I was constantly feeling like I'm a failure, I'm not a good mother.
I can't figure this out.
And those are like the earliest things that I had to work through.
Like I, my first coach ever was when I had two kids, maybe 3, and I sat there like crying in her living room because I'm a bad mother.
18:55
I can't get my act together with food.
Like that's, that was the first thing we worked on, you know, So like, thank God it was getting better and I figured out systems and like I'm doing it, but I'm not liking it and it's draining me.
And the second he said, OK, fine, I'll take it.
19:13
The biggest burden just like lifted.
Like, I just, I suddenly felt heard, seen, cared for, like wow and all that just from communicating, you know?
And the problem was that like, it took so many steps to get to that communication.
19:34
And I, I tried finding what the steps were like what made me comfortable to say what I actually want or to even know what I actually want.
And how did we make it work That the trajectory of our marriage like completely changed from that moment because I realized that he was actually on my team and he wanted to help and it's not a me versus him.
20:00
And, you know, and why am I even doing this for him?
So like, what's the point of fighting about it?
It's like all these things really led to a whole.
Transformation of our marriage and my business.
And when I came back to some of those friends who were at the table and I was telling them like, oh, I, you know, remember I said I was going to get really big clients.
20:26
I was going to get make more money and I was going to stop doing this and that whatever I did it and and it didn't ruin my marriage.
If anything, it strengthened my marriage.
So they all turned around and like how, what did you do, you know, tell us what you did break it down like reverse engineer and and thanks to them, I sat myself down and I reverse engineered what I did.
20:53
What are the steps that I took in order to create a real change in my marriage and in my business?
Like the two were?
So, you know, they're, so I don't know in my, in my mind, they're so intertwined that one grows, the other one grows with it.
21:13
But in order to do that, you really have to come from a very healthy place.
Like you really have to, to do it right.
So I reverse engineered it and I came up with the four steps to creating flow.
It's the calm method and it's the method that I teach all of my clients and everywhere I go because it really is intuitive.
21:33
It's simple, it's four steps, so it's easy to remember, and it's also calm, CALM.
So the calm method, you are calm, you will create calm peace in your home.
You know, like what else can you ask for?
And then everything starts to flow I.
21:50
I'm just imagining someone is hearing the story.
And so your husband's, you know, this walking, talking computer.
Imagine if you had that same situation.
And then he goes and he computes and he's like, yeah, but dinner can't have it.
Like many not, I'm not willing to provide that for you.
But it could be that his life situation, what he's obligated to already, what he's doing would have been a different answer.
22:11
That's not the Oh yeah, the calm method takes that into account.
By the way, can.
You give us a taste of what it is or it's like.
Yeah, yeah.
No, it's, it is, it is the opposite of top secret is I want everybody to know it so that you can actually use it and enjoy it.
22:27
You know, at this point, I think there's like thousands of homes that I was able to impact with the calm method and it's so much fun to get the emails from people like my daughter is using the calm method and my husband is using because it's so fun.
22:42
It's so fun.
OK, so calm, CALM.
The C is connect to yourself.
That is the first step.
You have to know what you want.
It is so hard because we are told that there's needs and there's wants.
23:02
And when somebody tells you that, it means that you need to know what is actually important and what isn't right.
Like they're saying that your wants are not as necessary.
They're not here for something, you know?
23:19
The needs are needs.
They're real.
They're, you know.
Professional.
They're wearing the good clothes and ones are like, you know those like pesky little things, You know, like why they don't.
Work for you?
Yeah.
Someone just try, you know, just skip it, yeah.
23:37
And, and thanks to that, you know, it's, it's interesting that you mentioned my father's podcast, the episode with my father, because that was where, when he really sharpened this point for me where needs are always met.
23:53
Your needs are always met because God, God gives you everything you need always.
So when you don't have something, it is not because you don't have it, because you don't want it or because whatever, it's because you don't need it, right?
24:09
Everything you have, you need and everything that you need, you have.
That is just how God functions.
But he also left once he left this lack in the world for us to fill with wants.
24:29
And you know, in our, in our prayer we say like God created All Souls with lack so that we can have what to fill so that we can Co create.
Because if God would just like run the world and do everything and leave us just like sitting there going, OK, so now what?
24:53
Then you know, we'd have nothing to do.
But he put us here number one, for us to have a relationship with him, right?
I was like #1.
Right.
But it drives us to that connection we.
Were exactly felt.
Fully satisfied we'd never seek that out.
Exactly.
So the main thing is you're here so that you can have a relationship with God, and that is my entire business is based on God is at the core and he created lack for us to want to fill that lack.
25:24
And by the way, he also put that want in us so we know what to go after, right?
Some people are going after money and they're going after, you know, fulfilment and they're going after showing up and, you know, changing the world because that was the want that was created in them.
25:39
That was God put that in you on purpose.
You know, sometimes we're like, oh, I'm embarrassed that this is what I want.
Hello, God gave you that want.
It's not some like superficial loser ish thing.
It is a deep knowing that this is what you're supposed to do.
25:57
And I, I have to interject here because something that's been coming up for us a lot and hasn't, I teach also about technology usage and the mental health impacts and whatever all of the sort of dark strategies behind some of these, you know, apps and things.
26:12
And one thing that's been coming up more and more frequently is how our wants are sometimes not our own, how we can be exposed, let's say.
I'm sure you might have experienced this the second you become an entrepreneur very quickly, you know, your Instagram feed on your e-mail list becomes full, filled with people who are convincing you this is the goal you should be shooting for.
26:34
This is the thing you could have.
And so you get all of this hypogorse specific thing.
And if you're something else, I don't know, you're very into makeup.
All of a sudden you're going to start getting just because that's how small, but that's how the algorithm is working, right?
Oh my gosh, what I really need to be is to be an influencer or I really need to be is to be a makeup artist or whatever, because that's what they're selling you.
26:51
And so how would you help someone as I really am seeing this so much, especially the younger, like the younger someone is, the more they're potentially influenced and of course the more online there, but it can happen out offline also, right is that we can hold on AI mean we take a look a girl who goes through the bais Yakov system.
27:07
She might be sold on a want of having a boy who sits and learns, but if she was really to be in touch with herself, I don't know if that's really right.
Because like you're saying, Isha makes us all different.
We have different wants.
And we're very often sort of put into these pathways that say, like, you're supposed to want this, whether it's through marketing or it's through our educational system or it's to our family culture.
27:28
Like you're this, you're from a family that really values wealth.
And so how come you're not trying to become a doctor, right?
So how does a woman get in touch with her real ones as opposed to just the noise that's been in the way?
That is the exact Step 1 is stop everything and leave the noise behind.
27:49
Like put it aside and really get in touch with yourself, right?
Connect to yourself is not just, you know, what do you really want or what did you know?
It's connect to yourself.
Some people connect by going for a walk.
28:05
Some people do exercise, some people do yoga, some people do breathing, some people journal.
You have to know what works for you to connect to yourself.
And if you've never connected really like sat down with yourself and had a conversation, it's because you're afraid.
28:21
You know, I, I once had a teacher who said that the cereal box is the most read thing in the world because you're sitting there in the morning and you're eating your cereal and your brain is looking for words, is looking for things to read.
28:37
Why?
Because you don't want to be with yourself.
Because you're afraid of the silence.
You're afraid of what your brain is going to tell you if you sat with yourself and really listened.
And that fear is holding us back from hearing the real voice, the real truth.
28:55
There is something that your soul wants so badly that it wants to tell you, and instead of sitting down to listen, we distract ourselves with anything as dumb as a cereal box to read over and over again, right?
29:12
Breakfast of champions, breakfast of champions like you will.
Your brain will loop just so that you don't think.
And you were saying like social media or all this like digital stuff is messing up with our wants.
It was even before you.
29:28
You mentioned it.
And you know, my parents wanted me to be a doctor or my mother says I should, blah, blah, blah.
We have so many people in our brain dictating what we're supposed to want.
And your job in step one is to take a deep breath, stop everything, move all those people aside.
29:51
No shoulds, no other people's priorities, nothing about anybody else but you.
What do I want?
And this may be something you have to get a coach for.
Sometimes you have a very hard time just sitting down with yourself and that's OK.
30:09
No shame in that because it's a very scary thing.
But if you are able to find what works for you and this is, you know, super fun to just try and leave your phone at home and go for a walk in nature, you know, sometimes the fact that there is no ceiling, there's no limitation, There's a Direct Line.
30:31
You could feel that if you're intuitive enough, you can you can really feel more connected as I said, like exercising or getting, you know, getting really hyper focused the.
Examples you gave is that they don't have any input, but I would even say, sometimes people ask us what about listening to music, right?
30:50
Sometimes even listening to music is avoiding being with right?
So it's trying to get something else.
So sometimes you could listen to music and it feels very expansive and you know, it maybe it's instrumental or something, but but you even with that, there's like we when we, there's, there's such a value of not having any anything coming in.
31:10
Right, exactly.
And the point really is connect to yourself.
We want to know what do I want?
What do I want?
And it could be what do I want about life?
What do I want for my husband?
What do I want for myself?
What do I want today?
31:26
What do I want next week?
Like, I don't care what the question is as long as we're looking for a want.
Because if I asked you what do you need, you'd start getting all in your head about like brainy stuff, right?
But like, your want sits down here and like a very deep place and it's very silent.
31:44
It's very quiet.
It whispers and your job is to listen to it and that's step one.
Step 2 is ask for abundance, right?
We said calm, CALMC, connect to yourself.
A ask for abundance.
32:00
Ask for abundance is Step 2.
It means turn to God and ask him for help to get to that want.
OK, now a lot of people are like, well, why don't you just skip?
I mean, we've all been taught to turn to God.
So just turn to God.
What do we need step one for?
32:19
But here's the difference.
When you go straight to God without doing step one, it sounds something like this.
I don't know what you want from me.
I'm so stuck.
I'm so miserable.
I don't understand.
Can you explain it?
Blah, blah, blah, right.
We're like, we are so preoccupied with complaining.
We are not open to hearing anything.
32:36
We were almost like, just like blah, throwing it at God.
But when you do the prerequisite of getting in touch with yourself and really connecting, then when you come to God, you are ready.
You are organized in your head.
32:51
You're like, OK, God, listen, you put this want in me.
I want this.
And it's scary and I'm not sure what to do with it.
And I have no idea how to get there because that doesn't make any sense.
It's not something that came from my head.
33:06
It's something that came from my gut from like that inner soul place, right?
That means that there is no how.
The how is not up to you.
Usually with these like big wants, like the things that your soul really wants, It's like so beyond your comprehension of like how in the world that like you have to lean on God.
33:31
So I come to God and I say, OK, this is what came up for me.
And if my wand aligns with your will, then show me how, guide me, take me step by step, like give me the first crumb and I will follow.
33:47
But if it doesn't line up with your will and maybe I got it wrong, maybe I didn't get like to the bottom of something, then I'm also open to hearing that like adjust, adjust my ways.
Like, you know, take a right, take a left, like, show me what to do in order to get to the want that you want with.
34:04
The conversation you had with your father on that episode, right?
Because he was talking about how people we're we're so good at asking for talking to God, but are we good at listening or I?
Don't know exactly.
You book on today, but I love that.
Yeah.
Like how much are we just paying attention to the feedback?
34:20
Right.
And that's step three.
Good job.
You've been listening.
So calm, CALM.
The L is for listen, for the answer.
We have all been taught to to ask and we haven't been taught to listen.
34:37
The skills of listening have been lost because prophecy has been lost.
And I want to tell you something about prophecy.
Prophecy in the times where there was prophecy, people didn't just wake up one day and get a prophecy.
34:54
There was schools for profits, people who went and prepared themselves to be a vessel for prophecy.
They learned to meditate, They learned to listen.
They learned to really be in this body, in this world and be be available to receive.
35:19
And when you get that, you realize people are sitting around thinking, well, I don't know, God isn't talking to me.
Well, yeah, very nice.
It's because you're not ready.
Listen, you're not looking for the answers when you are at Step 3, right?
You connected to yourself.
35:35
You know what you want.
You brought it to God and you're like, God, I'm ready to hear it.
You have to show me.
And by the way, when you say show me, God shows you.
So be ready.
It is very powerful, very powerful.
Listen for the answer means you are now going to be attentive.
35:51
Your eyes are going to be open, your ears are going to be open.
You are going to be looking for the answers.
And here's the thing, we are waiting for some like magical fairy dust, like lights and you know something show to to be like tada, here's the answer.
36:09
But the reality is that the answer comes through reality.
The answer is hidden in this world.
The reason why my business is called Connected for Real is because I am extremely connected.
And everybody who knows me knows like you've said it also about my father.
36:26
Like there's like there's like Direct Line straight to God, like very connected, but also super practical.
And that is that's the secret.
It's being in this world and knowing how to read these signs.
36:43
So how do you know what God wants through what is?
Because God never creates anything he does not want.
So if it's in this world, that means that this is what God wants.
And this starts to give you the answer of like, what if my husband would have said no, I don't know how to help you with this food thing, but I am not taking on another job, right?
37:11
What if my husband would be like, I don't know what you want from me, but blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
Like if he would have.
My husband.
My husband is an executive at 8.
She's not home until but way past dinner most nights, right?
Right, so you know what?
37:26
On him, it's not his.
Fault he's.
Not here, right?
How could he help?
With that.
So, So what happens when you listen is your job.
You know, when we say listen for the answer, we're not saying twiddle your thumbs and wait for the answer to come to you.
We're saying take action and see where it goes.
37:43
So we're, we're looking for crumbs, right?
So I'm going to knock on the door and if the door doesn't open, I'm going to go to that door.
And if that door doesn't open, maybe a window will show up or something, right?
So I'm looking to see what God is, where God is guiding me.
Yeah.
If my husband would say no way, no how, I would say, oh, OK, thank you so much.
38:02
I guess it's not from you.
You are not the messenger.
God is going to send a different messenger.
Maybe I'll post on Facebook and say, hey, what do you guys think are like, you know, options for this situation?
And maybe somebody will say, why don't you hire someone to, like, do the meal prep for you or, you know, whatever and just stick it in your freezer.
38:22
And then every day you just stick something into the oven.
I've, I've suggested that to people and they've done it.
Somebody who lives in, in Betar elite told me that they have this like time bank where they give of their superpower whatever comes easy to them.
38:42
And someone else gives of their whatever comes easy to them.
And they basically have like points and they have a, a directory of people who have things that come easy to them.
And you can use your points to ask them to do things for you so that this way you don't have to be paying for every little thing, right?
39:01
So like a lawyer can give free advice and then a designer can give a free whatever.
And like, you know, the lawyer and the designer can really like, you know.
Barter system, but it's a whole became.
It it's like a whole thing.
They have women on that list who want to make meals.
39:18
And I'm sitting there going, you have points.
It's not like this is like, Oh yeah, it's like it doesn't.
This does not even cost you brain power.
Just tell them to make you meals.
Like this is so simple, right?
39:34
But like then it comes to like, no, but I don't deserve it.
I'm not worthy.
What I'm going to, what are people going to say about me?
Blah, blah, blah, whatever.
It's like, stop it, stop it.
There are solutions for everything and God is creative.
He is the creator, right?
39:49
So like we think it has to be a certain way, very linear, very like how, how, how and it's like leave the how to God and you just follow and.
If you come to your husband and he's not the answer, don't take it personally, don't get all annoyed, don't go into a whole 2 day loop about you're not there for me blah blah blah.
40:09
Instead say thank you, I guess you're not the one.
Move on.
Find what other things you're being called to do.
Maybe you'll find the answer faster than you think when you are not preoccupied with fighting and with like, you know, running after your own tail.
40:27
So I.
Mean you can ask for things that you so meaning I guess it's it's obvious you can ask for things that you don't see at all how it could happen.
You can ask for things that might even seem contradictory.
I.
Like I want to have more time to spend with my husband and I want to make more money or something like that.
40:43
That don't seem like they go together.
So that makes it even more fun, OK?
And you know what?
It blows my mind because we are, we are the ones limiting God.
God is limitless.
40:59
You don't think he can give you time and money, right?
Like hello.
It blows my mind that like we are the ones that limit ourselves and I'm talking to myself just like to everyone else.
We are the ones who decide how big God is.
41:18
By the way, I see this mirror and very much in marriage, one of the things that I'm always telling women is stop trying to solve the problem before you bring it to your husband.
You have a master problem solver on your teeth.
Yes, I have this contradiction.
I don't know what to do with it.
And his solution's gonna be, first of all, it'll work for him of all.
41:35
It's gonna be way beyond whenever you can.
And and in fact, once you show up with a solution, then you you might be offering the wrong solution.
He says no, dear solution.
And you think the problem's gonna be there forever?
Right.
Like it's interesting, 'cause it's also a masculine feminine, right?
Like in this relationship, when we're asking for Hashem, he's the masculine, we're the feminine, we're saying it.
41:50
Can you help me?
Let's stop trying to be the problem solver and say Hashem, I figured it out.
Here's how you could do it.
It won't take any effort from you.
It'll inside your schedule.
You know, I know that like whatever you you're, it's like you're saying we're limiting God instead of saying, I have no idea how this could happen, but I want this.
42:06
I want this.
I know you can figure it out.
Yeah, yeah.
And this is how, you know, people say, like, oh, it's magic.
It's not magic.
It's just how the world runs.
Like tap into reality and stop being in your head about how reality is supposed to work.
42:25
Reality is actually amazing, right?
Like when you see miracles, what you're seeing is the reality.
And we're just sitting there going, no, it's impossible.
You know, like we don't even try because it's impossible.
42:42
That's it.
I'm walking away like you're not giving the miracle a chance.
You're not giving magic a chance.
You're not even trying because you don't believe it, because you're limited.
So step.
One you said this, but I think it's really important to clarify, as you said in the very beginning, you know, this is what I want and Hashem, if it aligns with your will, meaning this isn't this isn't manifestation.
43:08
This isn't saying I want a red car and I'm just going to dive in and dream and Hashem is going to like fill my order like my servant, like no, so you're in charge and it's all comes from you and my desire comes from you and it's going to run by you.
If it's the right thing.
Like it all it, it keeps that.
43:24
And I think that's just important because I think there's a lot of mush right now happening between these two where they in some ways overlap, but they're so fundamentally different that we have to be clear.
Right, right.
You know, this happens a lot with with doing the inner work.
43:41
If I do the inner work, then my husband will change, you know, and I'm going to change him by doing my work.
And it's like, no, it doesn't work like that, honey.
You know, like as soon as you go into that controlling.
We're always looking for control.
Like where's the?
You've lost it.
43:57
You've lost the magic.
Your husband will change because he is now free to change, not because you changed him, right.
And it is huge, huge distinction because, you know, I used to have this program that I ran for maybe 2 minutes because I, it got, I shut, I shut it down so quickly.
44:20
But I was like, change your husband in 90 minutes or something like that.
And it was like a, you know, a session with me that really created space for your husband to change.
But the name made everybody really angry.
Like you can't change your husband, right?
But like, they didn't get what I was saying.
44:35
But this is exactly what I'm saying.
Like, can you detach from the situation and just like, you know, come to peace with yourself and what is and, and really connect to what you want and stop trying to like, you know, control other people.
44:52
And then your husband will be free to help you or not help you or be himself or like, you know, stop reacting like he'll be himself and it's going to be awesome.
And I mean, now I still do the same thing, but now I don't call it that.
You know, now I say, stop fighting with your husband about your business or, you know, balance, for God's sake, like whatever the names that I'm using now are a little bit more like, you know, refined.
45:16
But bottom line, when we're dealing with God and when we're dealing with other people, if we can detach from the control and from the solutions and from the how and from the linear, and we can just get really clear on what we want and what's calling us and then turn to God and bring him in.
45:38
You know, this is such a crucial thing.
A lot of people are like, OK, God, don't worry about it.
I got it.
He's like, OK, good show, Show me.
Go ahead.
You know, it's like a little toddler.
He's like, no, mommy, I'm doing it all by myself.
And the mommy is just sitting there going, yeah, until you ask me for help.
45:55
I'll be right.
Right, exactly.
Like, yeah, you're going to get dressed all by yourself and you're going to change your own diaper and.
Yeah, it just, I'll be here.
It's all cool.
I'm right here.
I'm not leaving you, right?
God is like, I'm not leaving you.
I'm right here with you.
I'm going to watch and I'm going to make sure you don't hurt yourself, but I'm not going to, I'm not going to push myself in on purpose, right?
46:19
I need you to realize you want me.
I'm not going to force myself on you.
So he does, you know, knock and and like, you know, tap a little and maybe sometimes like knock really hard or like bang down the door because there's like, hello, I can help you.
But he needs you to realize that and to ask, right?
46:38
So if we can ask before we need the wake up call, then we're saving ourselves a lot of long journeys, right?
Like how why can't it just be easy?
And this is how you make it easy by just turn to God before it even starts.
46:53
Bring him into the conversation.
And then it's so easy.
You just listen for the answer.
Start taking action.
Take a first step.
Knock on this door.
Talk to this person, you know, find out what their ideas are.
Take notes and start to see what is actually happening.
47:12
And you know, by the way, it's like so funny.
You could ask for something in the morning and by the afternoon things can fall into place.
But you're so busy that you don't even realize, you know, like sometimes it takes me until the evening to be like, oh, oh, that was the answer to my prayer.
47:29
That's so cool, right?
Because we if we're not looking for it and we're not actively really awake, you miss it.
We get, we're, we're not, you know, we get very distracted.
Wait, did you say M?
47:48
Ah, good job.
I'm so proud of you at this point.
I was.
Like maybe I missed the whole thing.
No, no, you're good.
You're good.
I'm, I'm very, I'm loving this conversation because you're on the ball.
Connect to yourself.
Ask for abundance.
48:04
Listen for the answer.
At this point, you probably had magic happen, like something really cool just happened because you listened and things started falling into place.
You got your answers prayers, like your prayers answered, things are working, you're getting, you know ahead, you're moving somewhere like things are happening and at this point the classic thing to do is to be like, wow, that was awesome.
48:31
What else can I want?
Where else can I look for, you know, magic next, and you forgot the M, which is master a higher level of consciousness.
You have this ability now in this moment where the magic happened to pause and harness that energy and use it as fuel to propel you forward and not have to look for more work.
48:58
But really just be in it because what happened with the calm like the Cal, right?
What happened with the first part is you got in touch with yourself.
You brought got into it.
He started guiding you.
Now you're on a different level of consciousness, right?
49:15
You're not in the mud anymore.
You're not like, you know, playing with blame and shame.
And if he you're not stuck in this like limitations and whatever like you brought got in, you're looking at reality differently.
You are flying and in this flying things are working.
49:35
They're looking better.
They're, you know, you're breathing better.
The air quality is awesome up here and the view is amazing and you're flying and your brain is going, uh oh, excuse me.
This is not comfort zone.
We don't know how to fly.
We don't know what we're doing up here.
49:51
We know mud.
We know down there.
That's where we belong.
And what's the first thing that's going to happen?
Nosedive right back into the mud.
And that's what people are going through with.
Like a lot of the self work is the ups and downs of the self development world where it's like you're on a roller coaster where if you're not working on yourself, you are not working on yourself and you feel it and you're down and you're and you crash and then you have to pick yourself back up and you know what to do when you know it all in your head.
50:22
And I just have to do the model.
I just have to do the thing and I have to, you know, I like, I know what to do.
I just need to do it.
And it's so much work.
And I just need to pause and, you know, like it feels hard.
And suddenly something that's supposed to be so magical and living in a different realm of reality feels heavy.
50:42
And that's because we didn't master that higher level of consciousness.
We didn't master what it means to be up there with God looking at reality a certain way.
And when you're talking about my father, like living and breathing, that higher level of consciousness is because he really mastered that last part where it's like when God shows me the answer, you have to do something to catch that.
51:12
It's like your job is to catch all those sparks and use them as fuel to program your brain that this is our new level of comfort.
This is where I belong because I think and how do you?
51:28
No, science is also I like I love the like I'm comfortable in the mud, but I think it's also like I'm not a rabbit sin.
Like who do you think you are like up there?
Oh yeah, you're so, you know, like I think that's another very at least probably would be for me and.
You know what's amazing?
51:45
That the, you know, the, the Tunisians, the, you know, my father is from Tunis and all of his grandfathers were all rabbis and they were like the simplest people, you know, like there is no, what's it called?
52:05
You know, like when there's like about all these different things, there's like there is no what's the word I'm looking for what?
Hierarchy.
No.
Maybe.
But anyway, like there's no jokes about Tunisians, you know what I mean?
52:23
Like they're, they're just so super simple, super plain, like calm, just like living life.
They're being like they, they're awesome, you know, and and like all these like different adult.
52:46
What's it called?
Whatever.
Like all the different types of people you could like, be like, oh, you know, jokes about these people, jokes about that people.
Like there are no jokes about Tunisians because they're just like this, like the sweetest, simplest people in the world.
53:02
And like, they don't look like, oh, I'm the big rabbi or I'm some like, you know, But like, they know it all by heart.
They're sitting there and like connecting.
They're like, you know, for them, this is normal.
And I love that.
And that's also why I tend to attract people from all walks of life.
53:22
And, you know, I don't care if you're religious, not religious, observant, not observant.
I don't even care what religion you are because the point is connection to God and everybody could attain that.
Everybody can have that.
So you stop judging yourself and stop feeling like you're not enough or something is wrong with you or God doesn't want me because I'm not some like, you know, supermodel of, of a Jewish something.
53:47
Or rather like you could just be you and have an amazing connection.
And actually a better connection because a relationship requires you to be who you authentically are.
You can't connect as somebody else.
Exactly.
We're trying to fit ourselves into a box.
That's not who we are.
54:02
Then how are we supposed to have a real connection?
So.
Yeah.
And I think, you know, for people who have a hard time with the way that they were, you know, put into boxes, which is a majority of a lot of, you know, a lot of people in the world are walking around being like, I am not connecting to God because I'm not the box.
54:20
And they've been, you know, sort of made to feel that way because they've been tried.
Somebody tried to fit them in a box.
But when you can just be your real self the way God made you and serve God in that way, that's when the magic really happened.
54:40
Like that's when you let go of all of the weight and you start to float.
You know, you just are, you like, you know, bouncing through life because there's nothing holding you down.
It's so beautiful.
I love watching my clients do this when they arrive at that like authentic self and just awaken their relationship with God in a way that feels really good to them and doesn't have to fit anybody else's rules.
55:11
And then things start to fall into place for you because you're no longer fighting this like invisible thing, you know, I call it God baggage.
A lot of things that we believe about God that aren't real, right?
Or cultural.
Right.
55:28
And like, let go of the God baggage, it's weighing you down and it's not actually working.
Right, you got just the point.
OK, it's it's yeah, if the whole point of being here is to connect to God and then you're not connecting to God because you believe God is, you know, weighing down and and harsh and demanding and whatever then like that's not working for you.
55:52
So let it go anyway.
So let me give you an example of mastering a higher level of consciousness.
I remember many question.
What?
I'm literally going to ask that question.
Like I I think I need something more tangible here.
Yes, So my father many, many years ago was telling us before Pesach, before Passover, to clean up the couches.
56:16
Hey, there was these couches that we used to hang out on downstairs, like all the kids were just like hang out there.
We had friends, whatever.
It was like the second living room type of thing.
And it was always a total mess.
And my father said, clean it up, pick up all the cushions, you know, get under everything and like really get, get it ready for Pesach.
56:37
And none of us did it.
We were all teenagers and none of us picked up, you know, anything.
We were like, you know, you pick up here and there, but you don't actually do like a good job cleaning.
And so he wanted to make a point and he said, Hashem, we need money for matzo.
56:54
It's going to cost 37 1/2 dollars or something.
I don't know what it was at the time.
And and then he started cleaning the couch and he kept finding money.
And he put his hand through the cushions and found, you know, coins.
And he put his like, hand under the cushions and found, you know, a dollar bill.
57:13
And it was crazy.
At the end of it, he was like, you guys know how much money I make by cleaning the couches?
97 1/2 dollars, 37 1/2 dollars, whatever it was that he said like the same number.
And we were like, what?
57:29
Right.
Like these are things that only my like my father, like, you know, he lives there, he lives up there.
He knows how to like, you know, but and he said, and what do you do now?
You thank God you're like, wow, that was awesome.
God, like you work in such mysterious ways like that is mastering a higher level of consciousness.
57:50
It's sharing, it's celebrating, it's pausing, it's thinking, it's strengthening the connections in your brain that tells you this is working.
And the more you can bring back the proof that what you just did is working, the easier it's going to get next time because it's going to be easier.
58:15
You're not going to have to go through all of that like, I am not worth it.
I don't know, is this blah, blah, blah, blah, all the mindset drama, like, OK, we've gone through this enough times, God is on my side, let's do it, yada, boom, boom, boom.
And so things are going to start to work and flow a lot easier if you can just pause and think and celebrate.
58:36
And one of the things I love to do is have friends that I know will get it when I call them up and say, I just got to download, you know, because if I say that to normal people, they're like, woo Hoo, she's crazy.
What does that even mean?
And my friends know they get it.
58:52
If I'm waiting for some, if I'm, if I have to, you know, write an ad or write a, you know, a sales page or do something, I'm like, I don't know how to word it right.
I don't know what to say, blah, blah, blah.
Or like, I'm doing a training.
I'm not sure what I'm going to teach.
It will just suddenly hit me like when I'm down and you know, out in nature, I say down because like down, you know, down there.
59:16
But I'll go and I'll just talk to God and suddenly like, it will start to like reveal itself and I'll get like all the cool ideas and I'll be like, Oh my gosh, I just got a download.
I get so excited and I celebrate it and I like I dwell there for as long as I can.
59:33
Like I drink it up because when you do that, you're enveloping yourself in God's presence.
You're, you're opening all of those masks, you know, and the things that are in your way of seeing the reality.
59:57
And it's an amazing thing, right?
And so like, think about it.
If let's say, you know, my normal thing was this hamster wheel of like, OK, what's next?
How do I, what else do I want?
And what else am I going to manifest?
And what else am I going to do?
And, and I'm always running versus, oh, this was so awesome.
1:00:14
Imagine what else is possible.
God is like unlimited.
Look at what just happened.
It was better than I could have imagined.
But like when I was like I feel like.
Another piece I'm hearing you say is that what's the whole point, right?
The whole point comes back to the connection to Hashem.
So if I jump the 2nd that it happens back to me and what I want, I just miss that whole opportunity exactly day in that, like you said, it's the sharing, It's the wow, Hashem is amazing.
1:00:40
This is from Hashem.
I'm going to appreciate this.
I'm going to feel the, it's like if you don't think about a child, like, you know, a kid has a list of 10 things and you see it on their desk that they want.
And you go and you like get one for them and you leave it on their desk.
And then they get home and then they come up to you and they're like, OK, did you see #7 because that's the one I want next.
1:00:59
Like, whoa, hold on.
Like I just left you the thing on your desk.
You didn't even know that I knew that the list was there.
Like I found out to say I left you a thing.
There should be that moment of I want to give you a hug.
I want to thank you.
That was so special.
It's so amazing.
You left it on my desk for me.
1:01:14
Like that's the connection.
Exactly.
That's such a beautiful example.
You nailed it.
That's beautiful.
You nailed it.
Because when you're able to do that, then that connection strengthens and then the things get easier.
And now he doesn't have to make a list on the desk.
1:01:30
Now he could just come and say like, Hey, mommy, you know #7 really, really feels like I want it like soonish because it's something I need for my trip and whatever, right?
Like now it's, it's a little bit closer, it's a little bit more easier, easier to approach, easier to receive, and it just keeps growing.
1:01:53
And so instead of having to go up and down, up and down, up and down, and like the different levels of consciousness and constantly be fighting your nature, can we just like glide through the higher levels of consciousness and then like when we're ready, just sort of like move up a level and then continue gliding, right?
1:02:12
Because we can use all these sparks as fuel and continue to just glide for, for a long time.
Like, we don't have to go back to the mud.
You know?
A lot of my women who work with me, after three months, they're like, I don't even know how I could even ever go back there, you know, because it just doesn't feel right anymore.
1:02:30
It's not me.
Yeah, yeah.
I have a hard time remembering like in terms of my own personal transformation with marriage, nursing, my husband.
Like, what was I thinking?
How did I think like have to work really hard to I remember glory because it's so foreign to me.
1:02:46
It's like a brain transplant like it's so different.
It's a whole different brain so I can hear that and I love laugh piece is so important.
This is come up for me a lot with my with my community is just helping them to see like some of you've you've kind of made it doesn't mean you don't want to stay you don't want to.
1:03:05
I mean, maybe you do, maybe you don't, but like we have to know that this work is meant to get us somewhere.
Especially with marriage, it's very easy culturally and whatever to just keep coming back to those old patterns.
Like, oh, I did that thing again and we got into our spiral and we did our thing.
But like we, we can get somewhere, right?
1:03:24
The idea is not to always be in.
I mean, yes, we're always in process, but not necessarily to always be in struggle.
Exactly.
I feel like when you're in school, so you're always learning, but you're always learning different things, right?
You're learning to read, but then you know how to read, you know, and then and then you're learning math and you already, and then you do the next level and the next level.
1:03:47
In the next level, if you continue on to university and say whatever, you're going to continue learning forever, right?
Like in the system that we're talking about, right.
But you're never in the same place.
And that's something that's really powerful where it's like, I think I'm always going to be fighting about the same things.
1:04:06
Then why are you, like, looping in first grade?
Like what are you doing there still, you know?
Just could be don't realize we're not a first grader, meaning we actually have all the synapses ready to go primes.
We've done it, we've made it.
But like the exact same examples.
I'm not a rabbit.
1:04:22
Who am I Like it could be like I don't, I I'm I'm not like giving myself the credit of the work that I've done.
I'm not giving myself that graduation ceremony of I'm not right, or who got married and had all these things and got, you know, all these frustrations or whatever.
1:04:37
I'm on that person who's disconnected from a sham like I've I am in a new place and just cuz I maybe revisit every once in a while doesn't change.
But that's not me, right?
My home.
And you know what?
I think sometimes we we have some work to do.
About what, what am I getting from being in first grade?
1:04:56
You know, like there's, there's always something that's serving me in that lower place.
And I don't want to detach from that because growing and, you know, rebirth and finding yourself to, you know, in new levels also means leaving the mud and also means leaving something that you're, you know, used to be your home for a really long time.
1:05:19
And like, shaming and blaming and all that stuff.
Maybe it didn't feel good, but at the end of the day, this was your home and this was what you knew.
And this gave you comfort.
So there is a little bit of loss when you move on to the next level of yourself, the next, you know, version of yourself.
1:05:38
And I think you have to give yourself time and permission to to feel those things too, you know, and like, I think it's built into the master of higher level of consciousness where we're like, wow, look at what just happened.
This is so awesome.
1:05:54
Share be with people and create a safe space for yourself where you can say this is awesome, but I also miss this or this is awesome and it means this about me now you know, and work through those things because when you can have that place where you know somebody or group of people who get it, they're like, yes, I know that feeling, but let me tell you like, you know, this is how I, I work through it.
1:06:22
This is what I did or whatever it is.
So it's, it's really important.
The M is is a very very important piece of the whole calm method.
That's amazing.
I thought we were going to go like, so like in the ground examples and details.
1:06:41
And I'm so glad that this conversation went this direction because this is like the foundation for what you do.
So it's, I think, and also, as you said, it's very simple, like you, you, you boiled it down to something that people can apply to their situation, which means that if we wouldn't have gotten to everyone individual unique strength challenge, you know, they can for themselves.
1:06:58
So can you just share with people what you do, how they could follow up with you, where they can find you if they would like to learn more?
OK, So what I do?
I coach women who are married.
1:07:14
They could be either in business or not in business.
I do have, you know, women who have careers and the career is getting in the way.
You know, same, same.
My specialty is marriage, so I only work with women who are married.
And I have a three month program called Balance for God's Sake, where we create balance in all the parts of your life.
1:07:36
And it's based on the four pillars.
God is at the core.
So we work on your God baggage and making sure that you have a really strong connection with God, your marriage and your business or career, whatever other thing is calling you.
And then you are the 4th pillar.
And really it's the container that holds all the parts of you.
1:07:54
So you you get to take care of yourself and really be, you know, your best version of yourself that you want to be.
Where can people find me That's.
One-on-one.
One-on-one.
Yep, one-on-one.
It's a whole program.
It's really powerful.
1:08:11
And you know, I think we talked about this before, but like I tried all these different things like courses and master friends and groups and this and that.
And like, at the end of the day, we're talking about your marriage.
You want it to be private, you want to go deep and you need somebody to be like fully with you, right?
1:08:28
So that is what I want for myself and that's what I give my clients.
So when they sign up, it's like VIP, I'm on what's up with them?
Anytime I am answering questions, we have deep sessions and they have access to all of the recordings and everything.
1:08:44
So it's like an all inclusive that you really get full, full support.
If people want to check me out Connectedforreal.com also have an Instagram Connected for real and I have a free a free guide to unravel overwhelm and that is at connectedforreal.com/guide Well.
1:09:08
Thank you so much for coming on.
This is a really fun conversation for me personally, so I know I think it's going to speak to a lot of people as well.
With pleasure.
And you know, now that we have like the foundations, I feel like we should go into the details and like we have examples.
It's.
Clear.
1:09:24
Yeah, yes, the follow up is definitely clear because the, you know, the way to use the call method with all the different examples is fascinating, right?
That's what you know, that's what lights me up.
I'm like, that's what I do all day.
Yeah, and I, I just love.
I love.
I mean, you don't talk that much about God over here.
1:09:40
So like, I just love you bringing that connection, that relationship into the picture more for us.
So I'm grateful for that.
Thank you all.
Right.
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