Ep. 56 - The Marriage You Want / Should I Get a Divorce?
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Episode 55 Overview
2019 was the year of the podcast at First Year Married (we passed 40k!!!). I’ve been honored to meet you, to have your sisters and friends get hooked, to introduce this work I’m so passionate about. Thank you everyone!!
2020 is going to be the year of group coaching. It’s time to take this work and really dive deep and apply it. Improving our marriages improves every area of our life, and it’s the best place to work on this thought work, which is then a piece of cake to apply elsewhere in our lives.
Group Coaching Details:
NOT just for newlyweds (and therefore I need name ideas) Monthly focus video Worksheets and journal pages Twice monthly calls Whatsapp group Sign up at FirstYearMarried.com/course -- all participants get 3 months of group coaching for free, then can continue on from there!
The Marriage You Want. Here's what I hear...
My husband is great but still want a divorce I don't want a divorce, but he drives me crazy I'm not showing up how I want, I get in a funk or I'm mean I'm not measuring up to the wife I have in mind, the one who always has a clean house, makes delicious meals, never gets angry, always feels loving -- even if intellectually I know that’s all ridiculous
Here’s the thing. If you are unhappy in your marriage it's ALWAYS because of your THOUGHTS.
Example: husband not helping
"If he’d only be more involved... if he’d do what I needed... if he’d tell me to get to bed when I’m obviously falling apart..."
So let’s say you cook a delicious dinner. You leave work even though you’d rather stay and finish a few things up, shlep to the store, get all the ingredients from this fancy Pinterest recipe you found, slave in the kitchen, you’re starving because now it’s already 8 PM and he’s come in three times to sniff around… and now he reaches into the cabinet and takes out a box of crackers and sits down on the couch to eat them. Now you’re fuming, you’re resentful, what’s happening here?
You're cooking, and he's eating.
That's it.
This is all about awareness. It really does feel like he’s the problem, I know. And the obvious solution is -- at least in theory -- to switch him out for a newer model. But here’s the thing-- wherever you go, there you are. So even if you ultimately make a choice to end the marriage, even if I give you that, don’t do it because you haven’t taken responsibility for your own feelings. Don’t do it because your brain is running wild and you aren’t paying attention.
Don't forget to sign up for the free course at FirstYearMarried.com/course or watch the free introductory video at FirstYearMarried.com
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