Episode 191 - Boundaries
Updated: 19 hours ago
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What do you do when the only solution is for the other person to change?
Since our lives give us endless opportunities for self development (whether we like it or not), this will happen to all of us sooner or later. We'll be in a situation where the other person is clearly, objectively WRONG. (Add 100 points for personal growth if that person is your husband.)
Are we supposed to just accept it? Think happy thoughts? (Ew.)
Not at all.
A few thoughts for you that have been swirling in my mind about this situation.
I keep forgetting that life is messy and people are messy... on purpose. Nothing has actually gone wrong when I see evidence of another person's weaknesses. It helps to remind myself of this. Life isn't supposed to go smoothly. Maybe you can relate.
Thinking "this shouldn't be happening" tends to get us very stuck. If they shouldn't, but they are, then our reality is a massive, confusing contradiction. I'm not saying they AREN'T wrong (because they definitely are). I'm saying that there's a danger of getting stuck in resistance.
Allowing for grief or disappointment might be the first proactive step you need to take.
Ultimately you can only control yourself (at best!). So allow yourself to be clear on right and wrong. Make space for difficult emotions. But don't forget to decide what you want to do with what IS in your control (because it's an awful lot).
WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE:
 Personal Update
Codependence
Internal vs. External Boundaries
How to Work on Boundaries
How Do We Live With People Without Good Boundaries?
Cleaning Up Resentment is Critical for a Healthy Marriage
FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE:
Referenced in this episode: Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
Transcript
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