Ep. 120 - Elul Your Marriage Part 3: Bringing it All Together
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This week we go from our introspection and accounting energy (last week’s podcast) into the “fresh notebook” energy of Elul. It’s time to set our goals, and I challenge you to do this from “big-dream” energy, not “what I think I can get” energy.
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We always think that real change takes tremendous work. That’s absolutely your yetzer hara/lower brain/inner perfectionist trying to keep you small. Two minutes of introspection and reflection will change the trajectory of your year profoundly.
There’s a big difference between “what I want my marriage to look like” vs “what I THOUGHT my marriage would look like.” The first offers forward momentum and empowerment. The second makes you a victim. Plus, honestly, who cares? You’ve changed, he’s changed, you know so much more than you knew as a starry-eyed newlywed or kallah. What you thought it would look like isn’t helpful today in creating the marriage you want.
Dreamland doesn’t feel like victimization, pain, blame, or frustration. If your goals are creating a negative feeling, you’re off track.
Our tendency is to dream about what’s outside of our control. I want you to dream about what you can control: what kind of wife you want to be, what you want to believe about your marriage, how you want to feel about your husband.
In this week’s podcast you’ll learn
How to set goals for what you REALLY want in your marriage
How to get out of victim or blame mode and make effective changes in your marriage
How to dream bigger without fear that you can’t have what you really want
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