Episode 222 - From Trigger to Transformation: Emotional Healing for Your Marriage with Jackie Glaser (Part 2)

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Jackie Glaser is back to explore how surrender and emotional healing unlock deeper connection in marriage—even when things don’t go as expected.

🔗 Mentioned in this episode:

 👉 Learn more about Jackie: jackieglaser.com

 👉 Follow Jackie on Instagram: @datingbyjackieg

👉 Jackie and her husband Aharon share their dating journey on Stories of Hope YouTubeMarried at 44, Baby at 50: A Story of Faith & Resilience | Jackie & Aharon Glaser | Stories of Hope 

 👉 Book recommendation: Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by Dr. David Hawkins

 👉 Explore my resources for newlyweds and beyond: kaylalevin.com

💌 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss Part 2, where we dive into dating mindset, emotional triggers, surrender, and what to do when your spouse changes.

Transcript

0:00

So the whole process of surrendering, even though we talk about it normally in the context just of a sham, is also surrendering to your own feelings and reality by accepting them, by accepting that right now I'm feeling scared.

Right now, I'm feeling sad.

Right now I'm feeling a lump in my throat, a constriction in my chest, a pit in my stomach.

0:15

And I'm going to actually allow it, relax around it and talk to it.

I'm going to accept it.

I'm going to have a dialogue with it.

And when I do that, what I'm really doing is connecting with parts of myself that I've put into Galus Exile.

Welcome to How to Glow, where we get real about building the marriage of your dreams.

0:32

I'm certified Coach Kayla Levin and I help married Jewish women go from surviving and overwhelmed to thriving and connected through practical tips, real life inspiration, and more than a little self-awareness along the way.

Welcome back to Part 2 of my conversation with Jackie Glaser.

0:50

If you haven't heard Part 1 yet, hit pause.

Now go listen because we are jumping right back into it.

In this week's episode, we talk about how the way we frame our dating journey can shape our marriages, how to deal with real life change when your spouse evolves even after you tie the knot, and the game changing power of surrender.

1:08

Jackie is definitely our guru on this one.

You'll hear us talk about emotional healing, somatic work expectations, marriage dynamics, and how Hashem meets us exactly where we are.

Let's dive in, OK, What are your thoughts about how, what we tell ourselves about the bumps in our dating journey, how that makes a difference after we get married 'cause I was listening to your interview, right?

1:31

And you're talking about how date #2 is it date #2 right now?

Granted you got this amazing dream.

So if anyone didn't listen, we can link the OR you can tell the story now.

But let's say someone doesn't have that so.

1:48

No, it was a story I told myself after that date before I had the dream, which was let's see how we deal with this together.

Like when there was a bump, I was more about, OK, let's see how we deal with this because that will give me more information for life with this person than anything else.

2:05

Yeah.

And that is a big mistake I feel a lot of people who are dating make, which is they, they literally jump ship as soon as there's a sign of something wrong in the dating process rather than, ah, now we're in the real zone and let's see how he responds or she responds.

2:21

And let's see how we deal with this together as a couple potentially.

Because that's gonna give me more information about how we would communicate and how we'd get through conflict and stuff, which is so important.

And it gets into the real zone of connection as opposed to let's just do the superficial artificial, you know, like narrow, shallow, shallow chitter chatter, which people hate because it's very superficial.

2:43

And another big problem people will talk about is I can't get down into the deeper, deeper connection, right?

Everything stays on the surface level.

So once you have a bump, that's the opportunity to get into the real connection and the real zone.

So don't be scared of it.

2:59

It might be, it might be a bit tricky and it might be hard and you might need to get some advice, but that's OK.

And how you deal with it will be really valuable because you'll get a lot of data.

I call it data from data, but you get a lot of data about your dating from those moments there.

3:15

That's what's going to give you the information.

However, I will say, even though that this is all important, the way I work is that your state, your inner deeper state about yourself, about life, about a shem fuels your story, which fuels your strategy.

3:32

So it goes state story, strategy and each one is important and you can spend hours and thousands of hours in therapy and coaching with each one of these things, like with with just strategies is more coaching, right?

With your story is often overlaps with therapy and then your state.

3:49

It depends on that.

That can feed into both really.

But I found that if we can go back to shifting our state, that will influence the story that you tell yourself about whatever it is in life.

So that's why I teach singles how to what not just singles.

I teach everyone how to go back into their own state and and own that because your reaction is your reaction.

4:11

So even though we're focusing on another person, on the one having that reaction to them, and that's something I can change, I can't change another person.

So when?

Describe to me what you mean when you're saying state.

He does something and I suddenly get anxious.

Why do I get anxious?

4:29

Maybe it reminds me of something that happened when I was a kid.

Maybe it's my own belief systems.

Whatever it is now, I could, I could, I could address that through my thinking and through what I'm telling myself, which has an effect, but it's more effective.

I found, and this is just my personal opinion, everyone can feel free to reject it.

4:47

I found that it it changes more profoundly and permanently if you can actually get to the root of what that triggers in you as a feeling.

Hundreds.

Conscious level and heal that within yourself.

Then the next time he does it, he actually won't trigger you.

5:02

That is more effective.

Yeah.

And and it doesn't have to take years.

Yeah.

And so that's that's where I use the somatic work somatic.

Is going to say somatic for this is.

Yeah.

Is everything.

Yes, you need to have the narrative and the way to approach it and the framing very important because you cannot possibly just pause your marriage and do all the deeper work.

5:21

And you know, the whole time every day in your marriage, you're you're having to you're thinking stuff you're thinking is a narrative going on.

You do need to approach that.

But I think of the deeper healing work, which is the tikkunim I think that we're here for.

And that's what your soul mate brings up in you, right?

5:36

Like that's what the whole thing is about as far as the healing part of it and the wholeness part of it is, is this deeper place where if you realize that how I can respond to myself changes everything, then and then we'll for sure will change how I respond to my spouse.

5:54

And it's, it's really amazing and it's life changing.

So that's the work that I like to empower people with.

And that's the the, the state story strategy, right?

What state am I am I in?

And what story that am I telling myself that fuels the state, right?

The state fuels the story, right?

6:11

And then what strategy or reaction am I employing because of that?

And a lot of people will spend time doing the strategy, self-care, go for a walk, do this now, it's not bad because you can go for a walk and it will change your state, right?

But the reason why it works is because it changes your state, right?

6:29

So you strategy is good, but you really want to focus in on and changing your state is useful.

But if your state is one of fear or sadness because of something else that happened when you were little or or a pattern you grew up with, then going for a walk will make you feel good in the moment because it will change the state in the moment, but it won't change the root of what's driving that.

6:49

Yeah, right.

So it's good to have all of it.

Yeah or yeah, but but that's how I work at that deeper level.

That's why I'm gonna say this dating surgeon is more go to the root of it rather than but we need we need all of it.

But that's what my specialty is.

That's.

Yeah, my latest training was in Somatic and so I went all in like completely for a couple years very focused on that.

7:14

And it's interesting because in the last, let's say a couple months, I've also had this kind of comeback of like, oh, that old school coaching stuff was fun too.

So now it's now I feel like I'm in the phase of combining and I guess for me, most of the time when I'm dealing with newlyweds, they're not coming to a surgeon.

7:29

So I have kid gloves on.

I'm not necessarily going there.

When I'm with women who've been married longer, they tend to be more game for it.

But what I find to be so amazing about somatic work is that so much stuff is stored in in, in our body in a way that's not verbal.

7:47

Yes.

So if I sit here and I talk about my experience with my father growing up, it's not the real thing isn't going to come up.

But we have so much information stored in our bodies, and so when I allow myself to just listen to what that is, that real thing comes up really fast.

8:05

Yeah, it can it can it.

Can be very fast and and then, then what we have to learn is to not resist it because most of the problem is don't want to go there.

I don't want to feel that I don't know about it.

So we do all sorts of things.

I mean really we do 3 or 4 things, self to self reject.

8:21

I don't want to feel what I'm feeling rather than surrender to what you're feeling.

So the whole process of surrendering, even though we talk about it normally in the context just of a sham, is also surrendering to your own feelings and reality by accepting them, by accepting that right now I'm feeling scared.

Right now, I'm feeling sad.

8:36

Right now I'm feeling a lump in my throat, a constriction in my chest, a pit in my stomach.

And I'm going to actually allow it, relax around it and talk to it.

I'm going to accept it.

I'm going to have a dialogue with it.

And when I do that, what I'm really doing is connecting with parts of myself that I've put into Galus.

Exile, I've exiled, I've separated.

8:53

Yeah, it's very, very deep.

It's all into very like micro, macro Galus, internal, external, that whole thing.

I really go back and connect with parts of myself that I have disowned.

That frees up a lot of energy.

It allows for automatic healing without me having to do anything.

9:10

Part of the disease we have which turns into disease is because we keep disowning and separating internally parts of ourselves that we don't want to acknowledge.

And it takes an enormous amount of energy to do that.

And then it weighs the body down and we get all sorts of ailments.

9:25

And the more you can own the parts of your souls and sit with whatever feeling that comes up and know that it's just a feeling.

It doesn't mean anything about your future.

It doesn't mean anything about your circumstance, but just to allow the feeling to be there and allow it from a of observer, not reactor.

9:42

I'm not reacting like if I feel angry, it's not saying you should go out and feel like I accept my anger.

I'm going to go and blast people.

No, it doesn't mean to do that.

It means you're observing the anger and allowing it to move through you very different relationship to the anger and then it allows it to move through you and out.

9:57

It will, it will literally just move through and out and process what we call processing.

No, it processes and there are what I found in the Jewish observant world is very few people know how to do that.

They're just not taught it.

We're just not taught it.

So that's again, what I teach people is like, I'm going to show you how to process yourself and then you won't be a victim to your own reactions and your own feelings, you know?

10:18

So then your husband later on will do XYZ.

It may trigger you, but you'll know how to process that trigger.

So you don't have to just live in that reaction all the time.

Very liberating.

It's very liberating.

It's interesting when you're saying this that coming from the outside perspective which we've talked about before, right?

And then having this very lowest insight into how people take inside of the from community.

10:39

So it just reminds me like I did my past life right, was I was a professional actor and some of my training acting is extremely physical.

And so there was a lot of work on our bodies and how our bodies work and our breathing.

And I remember a couple things.

10:54

Like I remember one time being with this woman who just she just it's like she would look at you and she had like X-ray vision, right?

She could just see a person's body and notice the tension immediately.

And there was this big strong, like most of the guys who are actors are they were injured athletes, right?

11:12

They go into acting because they can't compete in sports and then they realize they're good at it.

She, you know, this big strong guy, no emotions, whatever.

And then she looks at him and she takes her finger and she just pushed on his diaphragm, which is like right underneath the rib cage, which is where we store a lot of emotions.

And she just like gently pushed there.

11:29

And he just wept for like an hour.

Wow, Yeah, I.

Remember another experience with a Co actress and she she had an injury in her back and we were learning this type.

It's like a type of body work where it's like very, very deep and it actually restructures the muscles on a cellular level.

11:46

And at one point she was like, I literally just hurt, smelled my grandmother's pie.

Like that memory was stored in her back, right.

And so when I come to this information of like your body stores information all over.

It's not just in your brain.

I have a very front row experience of what that looks like.

12:04

And you're pointing out most people don't have that, which is like I hadn't thought of before.

I don't.

Know they don't they they don't know how to relate themselves in their forget.

Forget releasing deep memories like that.

Like they don't, they don't even know how they're scared.

Most people are scared of feelings or they say that they're pointless, they minimize it, they don't.

12:22

They think it's wrong, they think it's bad.

Particularly if the Torah says you shouldn't have a certain feeling.

Now we have that 3 front layer of complexity where I'm feeling something that I know the Torah says it's not good, it's an aveira or it's not, it's not OK.

Especially anger or sadness, like fear.

If I have fear, I don't have trust in Hashem.

12:39

If I'm angry, I'm not remembering Hashem.

So they they literally suppress it because they think they shouldn't have it, which only keeps us stuck.

That only keeps us stuck because Hashem knows you're angry.

Like so if you're just pretending you're not angry to yourself, but then that's just keeping you stuck.

So the anger, have the anger allow it and then it will shift, you know, because it's about acceptance.

13:01

Hashem accepts us with our anger and our fear and our sadness.

So we have to be like a Hashem and accept ourselves that way too.

And then once you accept it, it starts to move through you.

There's a the fantastic book that I'm, I really ask all my participants in my course to read, which is a non Jewish book by Doctor David Hawkins called Letting go, the pathway to surrender.

13:21

And it is phenomenal in describing this, that we're talking about surrendering to the feeling.

And so again, if you're Jewish and observant, ignore the references spiritually to other religions.

He tries to make it universal.

We don't need him for the spiritual guidance, but we do the emotional psychological works, particularly the emotions.

13:40

He is it is it's on another level, this book because he embodied what he talked about and you feel it through the through the through the reading.

I've had other certain Gadolim read it and make sure that all that work is aligned in a tore away.

And it really is.

So it is.

13:58

It is bar none, like anything I've ever read, and I don't say that lightly.

I've read hundreds of development books letting go of the pathway to surrender by Doctor David Hawkins.

He's no longer alive.

It is life changing and it will change people's lives.

If you if you read it, the first 3 chapters are foundational and after that it goes through different feelings and more in depth about what the different feelings are and where they're coming from and what to do, how to respond to them and fascinating.

14:25

It's unbelievable.

So if when I'm triggered by something, I'll go to that chapter in the book and read it and I feel different after the chapter.

It's amazing.

OK, we're going to include that in the show notes.

That sounds really important.

All right, we touched on this a little bit, but I want to revisit it because I think it's a really important one which you you had brought this up.

14:43

People change after they get married.

So let's say even not even you didn't discover all the things, right?

That's separate.

You found all the things.

You pretty much understood the situation we're getting into.

And a year later, two years later, he's a different guy.

15:00

Things major changes have happened in his life.

So is there anything the, I mean, I guess our conversation has really gone beyond the the, you know, dating versus newlyweds.

So it's really just the human experience, but also in terms of that context of, you know, where you are in that relationship.

15:19

Is there anything from that dating perspective that you want people to understand?

Given that that I guess with the surrender piece really does fall in here.

I was about to say there is no way you can get through it without trusting that God is guiding your life and your journey.

15:37

And that as long as you made the decision when you got married, that with all the pieces of information you had and like the that this marriage has the raw materials to make it work, then you have to let go and say whatever journey it is, this is the journey she has chosen for me to develop myself into my potential.

15:56

There's a reason for this.

We're not a victim.

I think feeling like a victim, like, well, this isn't the guy.

And I think, by the way, it's totally normal.

You tell me because you deal with the newlyweds.

It is so normal to have that thought of like I didn't know this when I got married or.

Maybe what I signed up for, that's the way they say it.

16:13

That's what I signed up for.

Exactly.

So the fact that nearly every single person says that says something, meaning that that that that's the journey of marriage is to be pushed and pulled by beyond yourself and to be able to be moving into a place where I can be unconditionally accepting and loving, which means that I have things that I don't like that I have to unconditionally accept.

16:37

If you didn't have anything that you didn't like, you wouldn't need to be.

You wouldn't.

You wouldn't be.

Unconditional.

Right.

There's no unconditional, it's just, it's just like I got everything I wanted, right?

So, so you should.

So I think it's easier to expect that if you go in with a healthy hashgacha and perspective on what actual marriage is versus the fantasy of marriage.

16:56

And that's the biggest problem is that there's a lot of fantasy, a lot of fantasy and a lot of unrealistic expectation.

You know, a lot of the time when, when when people are single, they want to end the singlehood or the singledom because it's just so painful to be single, which again, I know as well as anyone.

But meaning you just want to get out of that status of society.

17:14

You just want to get married and be normal.

Inverted comments, you know, as in go to and not have people look at you and not get the pressure and not have the judgement and not, you know, you're really just looking to get out of that pain.

What you don't realize is you're running into new pain.

You're going to you're running into the into a new phase.

It's going to bring a lot of good and a lot of pain.

17:31

You're going to look back and go, yeah, wow.

I remember when I was single and I could get up whenever I wanted.

I have freedom.

And like, I didn't really appreciate it then.

I thought it was lonely and now I'm overwhelmed.

I don't know what to do.

Like every, every chapter has its challenges and I don't think you can get through it without surrender.

17:50

You know, life, life is about just like when you're, when you're solo life.

Hashem does things and creates circumstances for you that are hard.

So too, when you're married, Hashem creates circumstances that are also hard to get through because that's developing us.

Not always they're not.

18:06

It's not the norm, but it's, it's, it's to be expected because that's the journey of life.

And to kind of loosen the grip on what you think it should be.

I think like loosen the grip on how you think it should be.

Because sometimes, you know, I say reality is here and our expectations are here, like whatever a foot above that.

18:27

And the difference is the level of suffering.

But we can't change reality.

We can change our expectations.

If you just shift your expectation, you just won't suffer as much.

OK, OK.

I guess Hashem wants us to go this way.

All right.

Oh, I guess Hashem wants us to go that way.

So you know, again, it's particularly if it's not your spouse's fault.

18:46

So I was going to say that in a way when it's when there's no fault, right?

Like Hashem, let's say you get married and then, I don't know, there's God forbid, not you, a person gets ready, God forbid there's a, there's a fire and they lose all their stuff.

So OK, like, OK, Hashem gave us his challenge, but let's say, OK, I knew he had anxiety, but it looks like this anxiety is like either exacerbated by the stress of getting married or it's much worse than I ever realized.

19:17

Now he's not getting out of bed in the morning.

It's very hard to keep Hashem in the picture, I find when it almost seems like you're using Hashem as a cop out for him.

Like he's, oh, he doesn't have to take responsibility or do anything because this isn't just about me and Hashem.

19:35

That's what people are afraid of.

Well.

Let this person off the hook.

Well, you putting them on the hook doesn't get them to do anything and it's not your hook to put them on.

So it doesn't get him off the hook, but you can't control him.

19:50

So you just have to say why him put me on this hook?

Why is Hashem like?

What does Hashem want from me in the situation that will develop me and.

He's forcing you into a corner.

If you're in that position for some reason, he's pressure, he's putting a squeeze on on you and pushing you into a corner.

20:09

And the Torah compares us to olives, right?

Which is olive oil is extracted from olives and olives are crushed to get that oil.

So there's times in life Hashem will put you in a corner and squeeze you in order for you to dig deep inside yourself and extract this beautiful, rich oil that you would never have been able to access had you not been in that exact position.

20:26

So that's what I do.

What does Hashem want from me in this situation, in my response, And how hard is that for me to get there?

Because sometimes we do really, we really do know.

We really do know what Hashem wants from us.

But why can't I get there?

Because I'm not holding there.

So what do I need to do to get to the place where I can respond in the way that I think Hashem wants from me and let Hashem worry about my husband?

20:48

And the irony of the whole thing is that as you do that and get closer to the type of alignment a gem wants is that your husband will now change his behavior as you get closer to the response that you should be in when you stop focusing on the other person and that they should be doing XYZ.

It's very easy to blame others and I take on, okay, how can I respond in a way I think the sham wants?

21:08

As you shift into that, they shift more into who they should be.

That's the polarity of the masculine feminine anyway, right?

As as a woman pulls back into the feminine, the man steps more up into the masculine.

Because it's a very common complaint from many, many women is that I've got these weak, effeminate guys.

21:24

They don't take responsibility, they don't lead.

But what I've got the, the powerhouse strong willed woman who's doing everything, There's no space for the guy.

So pull back.

I mean, I'm definitely victim to that, that dynamic as far as having to work on myself as a strong woman and not do that.

21:39

It's hard, but but you're not, you're not, it's not all their fault.

It's a dynamic.

It's, it's a dynamic where you don't allow room for anyone.

How can someone step in?

So like, that's just the dynamic.

Whatever the dynamic is, you're 50% of that dynamic.

Right.

21:55

That's the bottom line.

And I think what you're saying about the, the piece, like you were saying before about being in victim mentality.

And I, I find that what you're saying about this, that all is right.

When we see something as our growth, like I'm not, I, I didn't sign up necessarily for this particular growth opportunity, but it's, this is what's happening now.

22:16

What's happening now is I am being tested in my patients.

I am being tested in my ability to be kind or whatever it is.

So that immediately takes you out of victim mentality.

Right.

Right, because now I'm just.

Worth.

22:32

Opportunity, right?

I mean, talk about the strong women.

Let's go.

I love that, Yeah.

Because then you can use your strength for that.

Yeah, you can use your strength for.

OK, I'm going to do this.

I'm going to work on.

It and I think that this really is a challenge that a lot of women have what you were saying about it's not your hook to put him on.

22:48

Like you said that as if we all understand that.

But unfortunately, I think there's so much education that gets murky about, especially when it comes to Yiddishkite and spirituality, like his spirituality of like you have a, you have a helic in it.

And like, if you're really like the, you know, the man who married the Tzadeikes became a Tzaddik, right?

23:08

If you, if you're holding a certain place, he'll be that.

And and it really just creates a whole level of like needing control and thinking that that's the right thing.

Right.

Real Tzadeikes doesn't control, a real Tzadeikes doesn't nag.

23:25

A real Tzadeikes, you know, has has understanding, compassion, and it's really surrender.

I don't know how you can get through without surrender.

You just have to constantly surrender to the situation, which is again, that's why that's why I went into teaching that specifically because I don't know how you get through without that.

23:40

And it's a constant work in progress forever.

I mean, it's a lifelong practice.

Surrender the typhoon.

Because once you surrender one thing, something.

It does.

It does, but it's not.

It's, it becomes easier because, you know, the state of surrender, the state of state of certainty, Hashem's got my back.

23:57

Hashem's taking care of it.

I don't have to worry as much.

I don't have to control.

I don't have it becomes easier and easier and easier because it's a muscle that you practice.

And so yes, situations may change, but the state doesn't.

And it's so amazing how we can forget.

I mean, like, I'll go into like worrying about something.

24:12

I'm like, wait, wait, wait.

Hashem's got, Hashem's got it under control, right.

Like I, I need supplemental milk for my my daughter Ariella.

And I ran out from my donors that were donating milk to me here.

And I was panicking because I really, really, really wanted to keep her on breast milk for six months.

24:29

That was my goal.

I mean, it's OK if not, I have formula here and whatever, whatever.

But I really wanted it.

And then I was panicking and worrying and I was putting out all the chats and this and that and I went, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

That's Jim.

She's your daughter as well.

And I'm like, you know where the milk is, you know, you know where the milk is with a certain profile that I wanted, right?

24:48

I didn't want someone on medicine, medications.

But within a day, some lovely lady that I've never met from Lakewood contacts me and says I have hundreds of Oz of milk for you.

And she was exactly the profile.

And she sent me hundreds of Oz for pesech.

My health freezer is full.

25:04

And it was as soon as I let go, rather than worrying and getting upset about it or debt, like controlling it, as soon as I let go, instead of Hashem, she's your daughter.

I'm relying on you.

It was like the man dropped in, you know, it was just like, it was unbelievable.

Like, oh, I forgot how, how wonderful that is when we can do that.

25:22

And it's just called constant practice, you know, and, and I think I do believe that we need to do that in marriage where you see a certain dynamic and you feel frustrated and you don't know what to do.

And you don't, you feel upset, you feel sad.

And you're like, Hashem, he's your son, your spouse, He's your son.

25:40

I don't know what to do here.

I'm putting it in your hands.

I'm going to be the best I can be.

I'm going to just get on with my life.

If I need something and he can't do it, I'm going to try and find somewhere else to get that for myself, Whatever that is, you know, support, love, you know, whatever for now because he's not able to do it.

25:57

And it's really about taking expectation off your spouse.

It's just so hard, so hard to take expectation off your spouse.

And the way I heard it was put beautifully, it's not that you shouldn't need love and support, it's just that just assume that a sham is going to give you that from somewhere else.

26:13

If your spouse can't give it to you that day or that week or meaning take the expectation that my spouse has to be everything for me and say, OK, don't worry, a sham is providing my knees and it might show up some other way, you know?

And I think if we can do that and work on that, then it just life becomes also less stressful and more peaceful and easier and more flow.

26:34

And that's half the suffering that we feel is that we are not in that state.

We are in a reactive kind of control, upset, stressed out state, you know.

And I think expectations of what we're looking for in our marriages are higher than ever and actual investment is less because we're all so busy and so distracted even before kids.

26:58

So it's it's it's more of that meaning even yeah, even just on that, that technical level of we used to expect just very basics, you know, from our marriages and we used to have this whole like a star, Chazal says.

We now expect one person to provide what it used to take an entire village.

27:16

Wow, wow.

Yeah, exactly.

That's it's, we're setting ourselves up for failure by doing that.

So adjusting expectations I think is huge.

It's so clear how the work that you're doing with these women, anyone who's working on Surrender, by the time they get to marriage and there will be more opportunities.

27:35

It's just the next, you know, like each stage of life is just like the next level of the video game.

But as you said, you now know what that muscle feels like.

You can find that muscle.

So it's just a matter of flexing it.

So it's an amazing asset for somebody to have going into marriage.

27:52

It's a really big investment in your marriage, even though ending it when you're single.

Yeah, exactly, 100%.

It's lifelong.

This is what we're meant to be doing as Jews, right?

I think that the commonality of every Jew is this is that you have to trust a sham in the darkness.

And he keeps testing us over and over again throughout our whole lives in all the various ways to that.

28:10

The common denominator of every test is Bitachon and surrender and, and we have to learn that.

I mean, that's the constant program.

I mean a constant process of growth and learning, right?

Talking to myself.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

28:26

Can you just quickly before we wrap up, can you just share with us where people can find you?

You shared a little bit about what you do, but yeah, whatever makes it easiest for people to find you, contact you, follow up, learn more.

I you can go to jackieglaser.com, it says work with me.

You can go there.

That's the inner circle.

28:41

That will show you all about the dating stuff.

I also run a surrender series that's also on the Inner Circle website, which is through my website, jackieglaser.com, which is a four week series on how to surrender that's for married women and single women.

And so that would be for people listening who are married.

28:56

That would be the best thing to practice the surrender muscle that we talked about.

And I run them, I run them regularly through the year and that's a live class with me actually.

And then, and then if you're single and you want to do that deeper healing work at that subconscious level that I run an 8 week course for single women and that's also on the website.

29:17

And I do have an option for married women to do that deeper work, but it's more one to one with the modules and stuff like that.

It's all there.

But you can just e-mail me info@jackieglaser.com.

Go to the website or Instagram is where I do a lot of my dating content for free Dating by Jackie G.

OK, amazing.

29:34

Thank you so much for your time.

I know this is going to be very, very impactful for a lot of people, so.

I love some of the topics we covered, it was great.

That we love fun.

Thank you.

Thanks, Katie.

Huge thanks to Jackie for sharing so generously.

This was such a powerful conversation.

29:50

If you want to learn more about her work, head over to jackieglazer.com or you can follow her on Instagram at Dating by Jackie G.

Of course, I'll have all that LinkedIn the show notes for you.

And if you found this episode helpful, make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss future episodes.

I'd love to keep supporting you in your marriage journey.

30:07

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If you haven't given us a review yet, it would be so grateful.

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Find this podcast and I will see you all on the next episode.

Have an amazing week, bye.